A C+ for Des Moines: We Can Do Better

When we were kids, a score of 79 out of 100 was not exactly something to brag about. It wasn’t the worst grade you could get but Grandma would not be happy with a C+.

The Human Rights Campaign has rated 137 cities across the nation in a report on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) equality. In the Municipal Equality Index (MEI), Des Moines scored above the national average, with 79 out of 100 points.

Here’s how Des Moines scored:

• Non-Discrimination Laws: Employment, Housing and Accommodation: 18/18 or 100%
• Relationship Recognition: 12/12 or 100%
• Municipality as Employer: 14/26 at 53.8%
  • Improvement needed in the areas of: City Contractor Non-Discrimination Ordinance; Legal Dependant Benefits and Equivalent Family Leave
• Municipal Services & Programs: 13/18 or 72.2%,
  • Improvement needed in areas of: presence of a Mayoral LGBT Liaison or Office of LGBT Affairs.
• Municipality as Law Enforcement: 10/18 or 55.5%
  • Improvement needed in the areas of: presence of a LGBT Liaison or Task Force in the Police Department.
• Municipality's Relationship with the LGBT Community: 7/8 or 87.5%.

We also enjoyed 5 bonus points acknowledging LGBT city leadership and city engagement with the LGBT community.

So what do all of these ratings and numbers mean to those of us who actually live and work in Des Moines? I moved here this past year from the beautiful little town of Evergreen, nestled at 9,000 feet in the high country of Colorado’s foothills. We enjoyed pristine rivers and lakes, waterfalls, elk, mountain lions and breathtaking views of the Rocky Mountains. We were minutes away from Red Rocks and an hour from South Park. My partner and I thought that we would retire in Evergreen. But after 26 years together, we wanted to get married. We wanted our life and our family to be recognized. We wanted to be part of a community that fully embraced us.

It has been an interesting move. We recently purchased a television at a local department store and the clerk referred to Sumitra as my wife. I was taken aback: Huh? So many of our friends and colleagues are married. This ranges from young professional same-gender couples in Iowa who enjoy all of the state rights of marriage. There are also the older couples like Sumitra and me, who never thought that we would be able to marry, but who created alternative families for ourselves, many sadly living in silence.

Yet there is something deeper, even more important than the civil aspects of marriage. After three years, since the landmark Varnum case, marriage equality has become the new normal. There is a presumption–even among those who may be tepid at best about LGBT equality–that two people who fall in love in this state can be married. The cultural shift is the revolution. The celebration is the revolution.

Here in Iowa, Sumitra and I will be married next year on the anniversary of President Clinton’s signing of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a mean-spirited federal law defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman for federal and interstate recognition, and which also excludes hundreds of thousands of LGBT Americans from the federal protections of marriage. We hope that by September 21, 2013, the United States Supreme Court will have found DOMA unconstitutional.

One Iowa has worked hard to make equality for LGBT Iowans a reality and we have realized some incredible successes. However, our well-funded opponents have proven that they will continue to attack equality at every turn. From decriminalizing HIV to ensuring that all children are accorded equal rights to both parents, it is clear that there is still a lot of work to do. One Iowa is committed to not only protecting our crucial gains like marriage equality, but will continue to strive towards the day when all Iowans are treated with dignity and respect.

And so as a community, we break out the veils and the cummerbunds, the bowties and the flowers—and of course, the champagne! I’m looking at wedding dresses, for goodness sake. A church wedding and a honeymoon! These rites, these celebrations, are now ours too!

Des Moines may need to do some work to get its rating to a B+ or even an A. However, this great city where the Des Moines and Raccoon Rivers meet has lived up to the promise of Iowa’s state motto, at least for my family and for my community: "Our Liberties We Prize, and Our Rights We will Maintain."

The full report, including long form scorecards for every city and a searchable database, is available online at www.hrc.org/mei.